Lessons In Negotiating From A Child: Selecting The Appropriate Approach For Your Purchasing Negotiations.

Have you ever tried to reason with with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has suddenly learnt that he has a will - a very strong will at that. Typical of children his age, he is far more interested in getting what he wants than with executing his mother or father's wishes.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our communication with others. We are only concerned with satisfying our own needs and desires rather than satisfying the needs and wants of those around us.

It is only as we age that we learn the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into our environment in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to consider the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 basic negotiation strategies and how you can deploy them to support the achievement of your negotiation targets.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is primarily assertive and focused on your own needs, wants and targets.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation that is predominantly focused on the needs, wants and targets of your counterpart whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training seminars often advocate this negotiation strategy as the most suitable strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the best known of all negotiation strategies. This is a style of negotiation where you meet your counterparts halfway. You get some of your needs, wants and targets met and you reciprocate for your counterpart.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation where you seek to meet all of the needs, wants and goals of your counterpart and they do the same for you.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a style of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best method to attain your objectives.

The important factors which will determine which of the above approaches should be in your negotiations is to answer the following three questions:

a.How important is an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is important, then you will not be able to be only assertive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterparts. If you do not satisfy the desires of your counterparts, then it is unlikely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many options are available to you?

If you have many alternatives at your disposal, you can afford to be more competitive. On the other hand, if you have only one option, then you will be required to be more accommodating.

c.How much time is at your disposal?

If you have a lot of time available, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time you have, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these three questions before you start negotiating so that you can select the strategy most suited to the situation at hand rather than just pursuing a negotiation strategy solely based on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to amend your strategy as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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